Sara, Sara…

Storms are brewing in your eyes… Starship.

I dreamt about Sara Ramirez being in my movie about an alien abduction of a fish and chip shop guy whose life changes after they chop his legs off and give him new ones. She is his accepting friend back on earth. But that’s not what I want to talk about.

I haven’t watched Grey’s Anatomy for a while because, well AUSTRALIAN TV SUCKS. And so does Australian Netflix.

However, I know what’s been happening and I’m well aware of:

a. Calzona is not together – still; and

b. Sara Ramirez has left the show.

I wrote extensively about Calzona and their break up when it was happening in 2014 – just search my blog for Calzona.

My main comments were around how genius Shonda Rhimes was and also, that in real life, love is often not enough to save a relationship.

A lot of the younger fangirls are still clinging to hope that Calzona is endgame. And maybe Shonda will make that happen. Because she can, because it’s a TV show and not real life. See Tibette from L Word back after five seasons apart.

But in real life, they rarely get back together.

In real life, love is not enough to save a broken relationship, no matter how nice it might have looked from the outside.

Sometimes in life you have to let things go and move on. When you do, all sorts of amazing things can happen! Further to that, it works out for both people, regardless of where they find themselves in the end.

So don’t be sad about Calzona still being apart. They are happy in their respective lives.

Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring
Tanya

Consolidate

January is nearly over.

Yet although I’ve done some thinking about last year I’ve not really done anything towards what might like to happen in 2016. Those resolutions or goals we all feel we need to have at the beginning of a new set of 365 days.

Sometimes this leaves me floating a little. I’m a doer, so I like to have a list of things to do!

However, sometimes it is better to not do anything and 2016 might be the year for that.

I don’t mean nothing at all! More like consolidate what I have.

  • Consolidate the new job – get some training, get right into doing it as best as I can.
  • Consolidate the new house with the lovely – there are a couple of projects that we are working on for improvement, but also the gardening alone will take a bit of time!
  • Consolidate my relationship – continue to learn and grow as a person within that space. Practice saying what I need and want, while supporting the lovely in her own journey.

Continue to practice the resolutions from 2015. Be brave; be happy; don’t presuppose what someone might think of me; have lots of fantastic sex!!

I’d like to read more, and write more. These are things I’m going to need to schedule so that they become a habit. I need them, they help me but they often get left off in a busy day and then it does get to a point where I can’t not do them. That’s when it causes some strife!

I consider myself very fortunate to be where I am today. Wonderful family and friends. Great kids. Amazing woman. Good job.

Let 2016 be a year of consolidation of all those good and new things I received last year. I hope that your 2016 will also be a year of wonder as well.

Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring,
Tanya

Life is a rollercoaster

2015 was a rollercoaster.

I’ve been on them before (see 2014).

Just for fun I checked out the Social Readjustment Rating Scale (SRRS), more commonly known as the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale to see how I scored for 2015. The score is up to 600…I got 497.

So just a few major life events to get through then!

It also reported that I would get sick with this rating. Luckily things are starting to settle down!

2015 saw me getting a new partner; losing my job; my partner moving in; buying a house and moving; gaining five kids; getting a new job; going overseas; negotiating with my ex; being off work for eight weeks with health issues; getting three kittens; playing Monopoly with the family at Christmas time (!!) – not necessarily in that order!

Overseas I met three wonderful people I met on Twitter, which was a fantastic way to see different countries, plus I also made a lovely friend in my AirBnB host in New York. To be shown around Bangkok and Dallas with these women was a wonderful experience and one that I will not forget any time soon. Although it does all seem so far away now! Fortunately the lovely and I are planning an overseas trip in 2017 – looking forward to that!

I saw some amazing art this year – a lot of it overseas in America – but also with my lovely in Sydney and Tasmania. I wrote a lot about MoNA and how it inspired me. The whole experience there was just amazing! The Metropolitan in New York, as well as the Guggenheim and the MoMA were standouts of my New York visit and the Dallas Museum with the wonderful Ashleigh was amazing. With this I realised I had been missing a lot of beauty and art in my life. That I needed to be refreshed and renewed with beautiful and thought provoking artefacts.

This year I met the loveliest woman, full of surprises, kindness and love. I did not expect to meet someone so soon who I would connect with and love. The Universe was very good to me to send me this teacher and I feel blessed every day that we are together.

And together we bought a house and brought our six children into a new family. This has been and will continue to be, a learning experience – full of joy and laughter and frustration! We are both doing this for the first time and so are the children, so we all get to learn together in our house, which has old charm and sometimes no charm (thanks to the doorhandles!). At least three of the kids will be spending the next eight years with us, so there will be plenty of teenage angst to deal with!

My work tribulations, as well as that of my physical health will hopefully subside into the distance. Having won a new permanent position, the stress of losing my position has washed away. It was a decade from when I last lost a job and coincidentally, had surgery to remove an organ. So perhaps in 2025 I can expect something else but in the meantime, I shall rebuild into this new stream of work and hopefully, recover some more of my health.

I’m very grateful and blessed to have cats in my life again, thanks to the lovely who did not object and in fact bought the third one into the house for me. Julian, Jack and Rosie are very cute, very naughty and very active kittens and we adore them (although Jack just wee’d on the bed so NOT so adorable right now!).

2015 was a massive year. Now to look forward to 2016.

Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring,
Tanya

In my new garden

  
In my new garden I will learn to love roses that burst open and are spent in a day.

I will learn to love the perfection of imperfection.

I will learn to love the aged and the weary.

I will learn to love myself.

Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring 

A person 

Doorway into a new world 

This is actually on the chicken shed at the moment but this beautiful old thing is going to be art inside our new house soon.  

It appears that it was possibly one of the old doors to the original house.

And it will be a new world that I will share with my lovely, her children and of course, my daughter. 

Sometimes it will be just us (oh, those Sunday afternoons!) and other times the house will be full of our wonderful children as well, with all their noise and movement.

Only a few more weeks until moving day, and I cannot wait!

Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring 

A person 

Splendid days!

I’m super excited. The lovely and I are getting a house together!

It’s been a few weeks of paperwork to get there, but we are almost at the point of no return.

I didn’t think I’d want to share this experience with anyone again. I looked for a house on my own, even when I was already with my lovely. But something was not quite right. Something stopped me from going ahead with a purchase of a very nice house.

I also never expected to share it so soon.

I get why people would thing that after eight months, buying a house together is pretty fast.

However, I just think now that if it feels right, why wait? What would we be waiting for? Apart from someone else’s idea of an ‘appropriate time together’. It’s not like we are twenty with no life experience. Even then, I’d still say do it if it feels right to you.

I’m so looking forward to making her tea in our new kitchen. Spending hours in the garden. Cuddling on the couch in our lounge room. Hanging out with our kids together.

Why would anyone delay that?

What if it doesn’t work out? Well, then we will go through that too. But right now there is no doubt in my mind (or hers) that we will be together for a very long time. And why would I stop doing something just because it might end?

The lovely is such a wonderful gift to my life. I want to spend mine making her the happiest woman I can.

And cutting roses from our (new) garden for her seems like a nice start. I can’t wait!

Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring
A person

A very short life skill list…

Here’s a bunch of things I know or wish I did.

  1. Make your bed – the lovely does it before she gets out somehow, but even pulling it all up neatly and putting the pillows nice takes about 37 seconds and makes it look nice. This is important for when you want to get in it again.
  2. Learn to back a trailer when you’re young (or any age). Trust me, at some point this will be important and backing a trailer is counter intuitive, so learning it young, say when you’re learning to drive, will mean it’s a done deal later on. Trust me, I learned the hard way!
  3. Write cards or letters – Paloma Faith mentions in a song ‘I asked you for a letter and you sent me an email, have we failed?’ Well yes! Handwrite something nice to anyone you like/love. See where it gets you.
  4. Learn to touch type. You’ll never regret being able to look outside and still be typing away at your thoughts… I learned with Mavis Beacon but there are now heaps of free online tutorials (just Google it!).
  5. Grow vegetables when you can. Home grown tomatoes are the best!
  6. Say no. You don’t always have to go everywhere and be everything. A strategic ‘no’ will help you manage your resources (money, time, energy).
  7. Learn to be happy alone. This is a tricky one because people sometimes have anxiety about it, but there is a wonderful freedom in being happy in your own company. Even at night in the dark. Even when you have nothing to do.
  8. Masturbate. Yes, practice giving yourself pleasure. How are you supposed to teach your lover how to please you if you don’t know yourself?
  9. Say yes. Do things that challenge you. That you know will be hard (but not particularly dangerous). Push yourself a little. The best thing is you can say ‘well I did this (hard thing), so I’ll be able to do this (a different hard thing)’. You are building resilience when you push through something that’s a bit challenging.
  10. Love yourself. This is a hard one because we often have deficits in how we see ourselves. We see our flaws and mistakes more clearly than our beauty and victories. But you’ll be a more lovable person if you learn to love yourself.
  11. Read. Everything you can until you find the worlds that you love to live in.

There are many more life skills – do you have some I need to know?

Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring
A person