Float

Yesterday we went to a float tank.

It was quite an interesting experience. I’m not sure if I’ll go back or not, although it might be worth another try.

I found it a little warm for me but the sensation of floating was cool! The sensory deprivation was fine – I was not afraid.

I did do some breathing and hopefully expelled some stress in there.

But I did eventually get annoyed at how my neck and shoulders were positioned by the float – they just naturally went in a way that was not good for my neck injury.

I lasted 50 minutes out of the hour but was unfortunately too agitated by the neck to stay in longer.

However, I’m glad that we did it – the lovely initially was uncomfortable but then fell asleep, which was great for her!

My skin feels amazingly soft – the water on your skin felt almost like jelly!

While I was in there I thought that the hypnotherapy would work so well in there for me! You are so able to relax, which I was for the first 20 minutes or so. It would be great to combine the two, although I’m not quite sure how that would work!

I recommend trying it to see how it works for you. We went to one in Canberra called Astral Float, where they were very nice.

Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring
Tanya

Oh my Lady Gaga I’m so over this

Yet again this government has put aside a straight out (no pun intended) parliamentary vote on marriage equality.

The apparent success of many countries that have already done it seems to elude the members of Australia’s 45th Parliament.

Malcolm, the man who has completely abandoned his previous principles (marriage equality, climate change) and capitulated to the religious right of the party to keep pushing this ridiculous plebiscite idea, despite Australia telling him for free what they think about it (they either are for it or don’t care in the largest percentage over those who object – just Google it).

Why does it matter so much?

Is it because the plebiscite itself won’t bind the parliamentarians to actually vote yes to change the Marriage Act? That’s right, all the country is being asked to do is say we want you to vote, not actually we BIND you to vote, in a particular way.

Is it because as same sex couples we pay like straight couples do, but we can’t marry and have the same rights as them?

Is it because my brother can marry but I can’t, simply because of the gender of my partner?

Is it just because it’s 2017 already and Ireland has done it? Malta even! And I don’t see anything terrible happening anywhere in any countries that have legalised it that can be attributed to it (awful bankers and polluting, tax avoiding multinationals but not happily married lesbians).

Is it because it is a choice I simply can’t make for no real reason, except that John Howard decided to change it (without any plebiscite or discussion with the Australian public in the slightest)?

Or perhaps it’s because the debate is going to be particularly toxic and destructive to all gay and lesbian families? Let’s not forget that children of LGBTIQ will be de-legitimised (at the very least) by this debate, not to mention young people bought low (see Hannah Gadsby’s account when the debate raged around legalising of homosexuality in Tasmania).

Regardless, it is well time that the government (of any persuasion) should just get on with it and make us all equal in the eyes of marriage legislation, which after all is a State law, not a religious one.

Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring
Tanya

Tumblr no more


That was hard!

Not just because there were so many cool things on it!

It took ten minutes of frustration to find exactly where to delete it! Finally ended up logging on to the laptop and doing it that way.

One down.

Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring
Tanya

The social addiction

I was watching a Dan Heath video on change the other day and he was talking about how some changes we don’t resist. For example, technology, where he showed a photo of teenagers on their phones and them extrapolated that to their parents also doing the same thing.

For a while now I have felt that I am too connected and not really doing anything meaningful with that connection.

I have Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Tumbler and this blog. At work I use the internal social media.

To be honest the one I use the most is Facebook, followed by Instagram these days. It used to be Twitter and Tumbler a few years ago – for the connections (I met heaps of great people on Twitter) and the celebrities/porn on Tumbler.

I’m also a Candy Crush and Blossom Blast player, with occasional spurts in Words with Friends, which is currently on.

This morning I have already spent quite a bit of time on devices – I have two iPads and an iPhone. And the laptop I’m now typing on.

To be honest, I hate the time I spend on these creatures – they suck me in and suck the time out of my day. The lovely hates me on them too.

I often threaten myself with deletion and then some little thing comes up and I think, that could be useful…Does that mean I’m a hoarder?

I need to break this habit/addiction – both for myself and as an example to all the teenagers in the house who are similarly addicted.

Over Christmas last year I had a digital detox and read quite a bit and wrote a bit as well. I have a stack of books next to my bed that have been pretty much sitting there since then, and it’s August!

So here’s my commitment – I’m going to minimise my time and addictions one at a time, starting today with Tumbler. It’s the easiest one to get rid of because I’m hardly on it anyway.

I’ll definitely keep Facebook and this blog, as I might actually get back to writing more if I’m not playing or flicking through timelines.

Instagram is generally for the filters, so perhaps I can find something else that does the same thing (any helpful suggestions?).

I forgot I also have Whatsapp but I communicate daily with that so that’s not going anywhere.

Twitter is a hard one because I met so many wonderful people on there – people that I’ve met in real life. Having said that, I can generally contact them in Whatsapp or FB, so no excuses really. I do have 400 followers and I do still talk to some people on there. See what I mean…it’s tricky!

So today, Tumbler.

And Candy Crush off one of the iPads. That’s my start.

Do you have a digital addiction? Do you think you could be more present without the device in your hand all the time? It’s worth thinking about.

(Maybe I’ll just have the last five games of Candy Crush first, before I delete it…)

Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring
Tanya

Under the weight of living part 2

Don’t mind the Bastille reference.

In the last few weeks it has been very stressful at work. Usually I don’t get stressed about task based things – I can handle them.

However this was a big and important piece of work and although I had a bit of help, a large portion of it fell to me to get done on time for a pilot.

I worked longer days for the last three weeks to get it all done in time – including over the weekend which I almost never do!

What did all this working and pressure do to me?

  • I was physically tired and needed extra treatments for my various elbow and neck issues to keep me going.
  • I went for one or two less walks in those weeks because I ran out of time or was too tired after work.
  • I was mentally tired and towards the deadline I was unable to make other decisions – work or otherwise – with any clarity or thought.
  • I became emotionally fraught. My patience for any sort of back chat or kid grump was zero. My patience for my lovely’s needs was by the end, also zero.
  • I was a lot quieter at work and at home, resulting in the more perceptive people around both places to either offer assistance (work) or wonder what was wrong (home).
  • I devolved to my teenage self – when put in my place by my mother I said ‘OK, whatever’ and I threw tantrums.
  • My depression was not as manageable. After the rage was the devastation.
  • I contained inside myself a whirling rage that was unable to be released in any safe way. I could feel it moving inside me – the red energy buzzing around pulling my body this way and that, wanting to explode.
  • According to the scales, I put on weight again two weeks in a row.

That part of work has now concluded and things return a little more to normal.

I want to not have that situation happen again, where something super stressful at work was so unmanageable that I bought it home and had it build up so much inside of me.

So here is what I think I need to do next time something like this comes up:

  • Continue to do my breathing exercises before sleep – I did successfully sleep for the most part because I was able to clear my mind.
  • Not skimp on the exercise – I need to push through the urge to just collapse on the couch in my PJs and go for a walk first.
  • Try to not hold onto the weight – I don’t think I ate that much more, but I did hold onto it emotionally and I don’t want to do that in future.
  • Somehow, and I’m not quite sure how right now, have a practice of letting go mentally and emotionally of the stress.
  • Do some harmless release of that red energy – pillow punching or yelling or whatever. Even more exercise.

Somewhere in there you’d think there would be manage my work better, but trust me, that wasn’t the issue causing the stress.

I just don’t want to bring home that stuff – the self loathing and the striking out – again.

Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring
Tanya

 

How much I love her

How do I cope with the sibling of a damaging childhood, I was asked by the partner of the other.

I don't cope at all.

I love, I give and I nurture. I bolster and I hold.

I make laugh.

But I don't cope.

She is not something or someone I need to cope with.

Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring
Tanya