Today I went for my first proper walk. Probably about 1.8 kilometres around the river near our house.
I haven’t walked since the 26th of February and it was like everything is new around the river.
The lines of the old railway bridge.
The butterfly hovering over the river, which was flowing again, just gently. Before it was still and messy and dirty with stuff.
Then we had rain – big flooding rain that has its stamp on the riverbank still. Metres of soil and gravel on the path underneath the bridge. Crunching under my feet.
The sun is hitting my black t-shirt but I’m not hot yet and I’m walking as if I usually walked. I want to know how I really feel. At the moment it is good and I can see the wrens with their tails waggling about. I wish I could capture them on camera but they flit away.
The flood has washed the hillside flat and grass is softly returning upright, making the scene look like a magical place.
Rabbit, with its soft brown eyes looks at me and then bounds up the hill. I see two more as I walk the path, seeing all the grass, all the thistles turning into fluffballs.
My breasts are starting to feel. I adjust the compression garment as it rubs against the skin under my breasts. There is a stinging to my nipples.
I’m half way there. The little critters skimming on the top of the river surface leave ripples through the reflections of sky and trees.
A duck cleans itself on the bank.
The reeds are high, so very high.
Everything looks different. Fresh. The grass has been mown sometime in the last few days so it is green and soft.
The stinging is intensifying around all of my breasts. I adjust the garment again and hold them for just a second, for comfort. I am three quarters of the way there but I don’t want to do this again tomorrow. The stinging is too much.
I’m hot now and I wipe damp from my brow under my cap.
I try to be consciously straight as I walk. I’m used to slouching.
Grasshoppers, big green ones are defiantly in my way and jump at the last minute into the grass.
I’m nearly home, the stinging is uncomfortable and I want it to stop. There is no real pain though, as I walk up my street.
I have noticed all the things, I have been conscious of my body and the way my feet hit the path and my shins hurt slightly and my new breasts sting and bounce slightly.
They don’t drag me any more.
Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring,