The fact is I’ve been miserable this week.
I don’t even know why.
I imagine it started after a rather traumatic evening last Saturday. I don’t blame the fight per se but perhaps it has shifted sediment.
I feel as though all the good I’ve done last year will be shortly washed away. My precious and hard fought 8 kilos will come back before I can stop them.
The body weight recorded in my cells will push to readjust, rendering me again powerless.
Even if it doesn’t, I feel that all of it is not enough to stop me becoming uselessly diseased with diabetes.
I feel unable to relate to the other people in the household, mostly today. My disappointment at their behaviour (which was not terrible in any real sense) was so upsetting that I cried.
I feel hopeless.
And I feel that regardless of how hard I try I won’t ever be good enough for anything.
I feel pathetic for having these feelings and useless that I am still in them at the end of the week.
Things are out of control. The sun is burning 37 degree holes in everything. Why can I not be the person I wish to be?
Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring