New Year’s Eve

Last night as I lay not sleeping, I considered what I would want to focus on in 2018. The previous two days had been spent feeling very unwell with all the symptoms of Norovirus, so pretty much wiped me out for thinking or anything else!

There’s nothing like a big bad dose of illness or pain to help you appreciate your good health! As I sat in the sun yesterday morning, still a little dizzy and weak, I pondered that the only way to know you are going OK is to have a bout of not going OK to remind you! On the up, you are always grateful for the relief of symptoms!

This year is about health for me in many ways. Continuing to lose weight (and thanks to that virus this week I’m the lowest weight I’ve been in a number of years) slowly and by changing habits will be a focus. I have to do it – I don’t want to be diabetic! And no, I haven’t had that test yet!

Also, this year I’m having my breast reduction. I want it to go well, although I’m a little afraid of the pain. The Lovely told me yesterday about the Nocebo effect. I’d not realised but of course it makes sense for the opposite of Placebo to apply (Google for some interesting articles).

To avoid the Nocebo effect, I’ll be focusing on the positive outcome reducing the size of my breasts will have on my overall health, as well as trusting that my pain will be regulated properly. Yes, it won’t be comfortable but it should be manageable and the lovely will be there to help me get through it. She was wonderful in the last couple of days taking care of me, despite fighting her own pain.

With those two as a focus, it’s hard to know if I’ll have time and emotional/mental energy to do much more, especially in the first half of 2018.

However, I have to work on being a better person in the home – with the kids and with the lovely. The last two months since we have been back from our six week trip overseas have been quite challenging. There have been more fights about the kids, and with the kids, and I currently feel very blocked and out of control in this space. Advice from friends who have blended families said focus on backing each other up and putting your relationship first, as well as picking your battles with the children.

Starting the year with a new ‘jobs’ system may or may not help – we will see. I need to work on letting the lovely parent her children without imposition and endeavour to see her efforts with my daughter as not attacking her (or me).

We have realised that we need our alone time together, and I need to carve some other space to be able to clear my head – whether that be by writing, or other ways. It will be our three year anniversary in 21 days and I want to spend the rest of my life with her, so I need to get this right.

I do want my work to continue to be challenging and fun in a supportive environment. I’ll need to manage my stress a lot better than I did last year if this is to happen with all the work my boss is promising me when I get back on Tuesday!

So after all of that, what are my 2018 resolutions?

  • Nurture my relationship and myself.
  • Have a successful breast reduction.
  • Continue to make healthy choices around food and exercise.
  • Consolidate my position at work and have fun!

Enjoy the contemplation of New Year’s Eve all!

Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring,

Tanya

 

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