I didn’t have any resolutions this new year. Same as last year because the year before worked so well that I’m still riding those ones of being happy, being brave for twenty seconds when required and having lots of great sex!
However I did recommit to starting to run again. I’d tried unsuccessfully last year to get going again, and then I broke my toe so I couldn’t, but shortly before the turn of the year I decided I would download the Couch to five kilometres app and start from scratch.
So far this has been working very well. I’m minding my body and I’m not running a lot of the intervals – I’m still quite heavy and my shins and calves really don’t like this whole walking/running distance thing but we are pushing through so far, with lots of stretches and ice packs.
Meanwhile I finally had a third hypnotherapy session yesterday. I’d wanted to do another one late last year as I felt I had transferred some of the emotions around food to something else. However, we didn’t make it until yesterday – some months later.
In a way this was good because I think the issue that I was concerned about actually resolved itself, and that left what was really underneath – a whole lot of anger and fear about my body and my pain.
Specifically, my lovely has been having a tough time at work – it is really the most ridiculous and horrible situation for her and she has now become physically injured.
I’m angry about this as I have been through this very thing and still battle to maintain a working/living pain balance. That it is still being allowed to happen in workplaces in 2016, 13 years after it happened to me, is outrageous.So her pain triggered all those memories and emotions.
It’s interesting that I’m typing these words but I’m not actually feeling any of that anger and rage. Those feelings have been removed. It’s really quite astonishing!
After the session I felt lighter and literally looser in my shoulders and neck.
In the visualisation I saw myself after letting all this emotion go – fear, sadness, anger, rage, humiliation, hopelessness – as a person would look if they were wearing their ‘before’ clothes post a 30 kilo weight loss. They draped over my frame and hung saggily.
I felt good. I felt empowered and free and powerful.
It’s interesting that hypnotherapy does not work for everyone and that is because, I think, that they don’t want to trust the process and are not ready to let things go. You do have to be ready to do this work.
Anyway, I’m very grateful for the work I’ve done with my hypnotherapist, who is also a lovely friend. It’s not a pill, it’s not a cure-all. I still have to work on things. But it is a big helping hand.
So I’m interested to see how this year pans out in terms of my running and my eating after these sessions that started mid last year. I’m interested in seeing if the emotional weight loss will translate to physical weight loss over time. I’ve no intention of dieting or running marathons. Just keep doing what I’m doing to make better choices and keep moving.
Hopefully you’ve not given up your new year’s resolutions yet (although many have by now, as is the way of humans!)
Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring