Sometimes it’s just crap and you don’t know what to do.
I’m not sure if it’s worse when you are younger but it might seem that way for some things (more than others). For some things, when you are young, the shit seems overwhelming.
I thought there was going to be a nuclear war when I was a teenager. It was the 80s and Reagan and Gorbachev were still negotiating getting fingers off buttons. The threat was very real. We watched shows about it in school. It hung like a pall over my early teenage years.
That and being gay, but that is another story.
This story is actually about one of the lovely’s children and his troubles at school. He has some issues with some older boys picking on him. He pissed them off and so in the male way of dealing with things, they are apparently being dicks. He is so worried about going back to school tonight he couldn’t sleep (even though there is three days left of the holidays) and was upset.
But what do you do as a parent when this happens with your kids? He wants to move schools because for him, the problem is there, not the boys themselves.
But you can’t just move your kid every time something bad happens at school. You and they have to deal with it. But it’s so hard as a parent to do this.
And this is because you know from experience that sometimes life is shitty. Sometimes the shit rains down and you are just like ‘seriously? can you fucking not with the shit?’ But it’s crappy and you keep going through it until one day it’s not so shitty.
Typically not all aspects are shitty all at once, which is something you realise after a while of living. Your job may suck but you have a great relationship. Your bank balance is dodgy but you have everything you need for now.
But sometimes life gets shitty in all aspects – you might lose your job; your relationship is gone; you don’t know what will happen in the future financially and you are sick or injured. You may even get depressed.
And that is when it is especially hard to remember that all things are temporary.
Because eventually the job situation resolves itself, you sort out the money, you get well (or at least better) and whoa, you meet someone pretty special.
So what to say to the child who is going through a rough patch right now? How do you soothe something that seems like the whole world is shitty?
You can’t really.
Now I don’t say that getting bullied is anything to ignore, but let’s start at the start and see what can be done about it. If we all ran away from bullies, we wouldn’t have the opportunity to learn and neither would they. Don’t think I’m discounting the distress of bullying or the seriousness of it – I just say you need to confront it and try and manage it before you move away from it.
All things are temporary.
All the good things and all the bad things. They go eventually. You move through them eventually.
So as a parent you spend a lot of time explaining to your children that life is not always perfect. Sometimes it is shitty. Sometimes it’s really shitty and sometimes a little bit crap. But eventually that stuff gets resolved and you might have five minutes where everything is going right before some other sort of shit comes down and ruins your rainbow.
Random image of rainbow from clipartpanda.com
I hope he doesn’t have any problems because not wanting to go to school is not a good situation to be in. Life however, doesn’t teach you resilience by bathing you in rose petals and feeding you chocolate all day. Sometimes life is shitty. But you just have to be shitty back.
They won’t be there next year (and hopefully they won’t be mean to him next term anyhow). And if they are, we will help him to deal with it.
Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring