50 things to teach

So this went around FB again but I thought it could use an update. My comments in italics.

50 Things To Teach Your Daughters- amended for everyone 
1. NEVER use scented tampons. Or scented anything there. You smell just fine.
2. Always look people in the eye when you’re talking to them.
3. Don’t scrimp on wine, perfume, or handbags. They say a lot about a woman. Yep, they say she is being judged for material things and not her brain. But what makes you happy.
4. You are beautiful – Believe it!
5. You are not better than anyone, and no one is better than you.
6. Just because you can fit in the extra-small, doesn’t mean you should be wearing it. But also, screw that, if you like it, wear what it!
7. It’s not the quantity of friends that matter. It’s the quality.
8. You can tell a lot about someone by their shoes. Make sure yours are always polished. This goes for everyone and also if you can’t walk in heels, probably don’t.
9. When people talk to you, LISTEN to them. Listen without forming a response.
10. Make sure you always have a little extra money tucked away for those times when life isn’t treating you the way you want it to.
11. See the world and pack Imodium. And try to just have one carry on bag because it’s awesome.
12. Live to eat, not the other way around. Actually I think this is supposed to be the other way around. However, enjoy food and be as healthy as you can manage.
13. People remember how you make them feel. Never forget that.
14. Don’t gossip. Except with me. I love that stuff. No, really, don’t do it because you don’t know the full story.
15. Go with your gut. It’s very rarely wrong.
16. Go to university, live in residence, and have fun. But get good grades. A degree will take you places.
17. Take responsibility for your actions and apologize when you’re in the wrong.
18. Don’t be afraid to fail. Done is better than perfect. It’s an iterative world out there.
19. If he makes you cry anything but happy tears, he’s not worth it. Or she. Love isn’t supposed to be that hard all the time.
20. Repeat after me: I. Can. Accomplish. Anything.
21. Don’t sleep around. Guys may have fun with easy girls, but they don’t marry them. Similarly, guys who don’t respect that women can own their own sexuality will end up alone. Get over the fact that people have a past and just be with them (safely) in the present.
22. Don’t be a sore loser. Don’t be a dickhead winner either.
23. If you decide you prefer women to men, your Dad and I (parents of any gender) will not care, nor will we love you any less. Just promise me you’ll take me to a gay bar. I know I’d make you proud.
24. Don’t smoke cigarettes and never do anything chemical. This is because ciggies are addictive and expensive and smelly and not actually that cool. Chemicals can break your life after just one time or the twentieth…you just don’t know which.
25. Don’t take yourself too seriously.
26. A shot of vodka before shopping for swimwear makes the whole experience much more pleasurable. Or not shopping for swimwear at all…
27. I don’t care how young you are: if you’ve been drinking, call me. I’ll get you and your friends home safely. No questions asked.
28. Download Miles Davis’ album, Kind of Blue. And Sia’s 1000 Forms of Fear. And best of Queen, Bowie and Prince. Anything really- just listen to music.
29. Never judge people you don’t know unless you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
30. Don’t let a day go by without listening to music. See no. 28.
31. If you’re not married to him, don’t have unprotected sex with him. Or her. And let’s say long term relationship because some of us can’t or don’t want to get married.
32. The world is too small a place to be a jerk to anyone (unless he was a jerk first). Being the last jerk doesn’t solve anything. You can express feelings without jerk behaviour.
33. When wearing pantyhose, always have a back-up pair in your purse. Probably. Also keep tissues in your car. 
34. Don’t be afraid to go out without make-up on. I imagine it must be quite liberating. Or maybe you don’t give a shit what people think because makeup doesn’t make you.
35. Wear sunscreen.
36. Always bring your own dessert when you go to Gran and Grandad’s for dinner.
37. Learn how to say “NO”.
38. Read lots of books.
39. When it comes to relationships, don’t settle. Wait for the one that takes your breath. Like I did. Definitely don’t settle but don’t hold out for perfection. There is no ‘one’ person. There are teachers at different times. Sometimes three months and sometimes 15 years…
40. Rules are made to be broken. Except mine. And the ones that hurt people or damage property. Make sure you are respectful and strategic in the rule breaking.
41. I’ve always got your back. Well, someone will, hopefully it’s your parents but it might be someone else. Whose back have you got?
42. If you’re not comfortable talking about it, you shouldn’t be doing it. So raping unconscious people and sending photos of their tits to your mates is definitely out. 
43. Very few things are more painful than childbirth. Bikini waxing is one of those things! Which is why any waxing, shaving or hair removal should be because you want to do it. Hairless genitals are porn constructs to get more clear shots of the business. If someone makes you feel bad for having hair somewhere, maybe you shouldn’t be with that person because they are a jerk.
44. Never go to bed mad. And don’t tell your partner everything. Well yes. And no. Work out together what needs to be told. Secrets don’t help anyone. Especially if they really are issues that need dealing with.
45. Learn how to cook. I didn’t, and we both know how that turned out. Life skills for all – cooking and other household jobs are not gender specific. Learn to look after yourself because it’s not actually anyone else’s job.
46. Tattoos are permanent, so think long and hard before you get one – and where you get one! I recommend starting somewhere coverable until you are career established, then branch out into more visible art. Unless you are a pro tattooist.
47. Always have something that’s just for you, be it writing, music, crafting, or something equally awesome. And make time for it. It’ll do wonders for you.
48. Never lose your sense of humour. Humour is sexy.
49. Even when I’m gone, I’ll always be with you. Life is a continuum.
50. Everything is going to be okay. It seems bad at the time and it might well be, but just keep taking one step at a time and you’ll get through it. Also, highly unlikely you’ll use that calculus, so don’t stress about it.

Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring 


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