What sort of a dream is it anyway?

Jarryd Hayne.

Americans might have heard of him if they are 49ers fans or that of NFL.

Australians have had enough of hearing about him as NFL and NRL footballer.

When I heard that he was going to try out for the Fiji Rugby 7s I tweeted –

If it was such a dream then playing NFL at any level would have satisfied.

Because he probably could have still made a decent living playing at some level in America I imagine.

I called bullshit on the whole thing.

And I’m not the only one. Check this comment piece by Malcolm Knox. OUCH.

As if we all don’t think that ‘hero’ sports people, especially of the male variety, get lauded and paid enough, here is Jarryd ballsing it up for fun. What, he wasn’t good enough after five minutes of playing his ‘dream’ game so he gave up?

What a load of crap. He was either faking it in the first place about his intentions  – he had a guarantee on the practice squad of the 49ers (in place of someone who might have an actual proper dream) – or he really doesn’t get this whole ‘having a dream’ thing.

You see Jarryd, people usually give it years and years before they give up on their true dream. They might even play on (or whatever they are dreaming about) around the lower levels of something for their whole life, just so they can be close to their dream.

Jarryd Hayne had a dream that he could just waltz in to American Football and get to the top level without really trying or putting in the hard yards. He just wanted the fame and the payday without the work to get there.

I know people who have a dream of playing NFL. They are currently over in America playing college football. Learning. Skilling up. Working towards his goal. I know another 15 year old who is already working towards that aim as well, even though he is a fair way away from even going to America. Thankfully not everyone just expects to be handed a spot just because they are from another code they were good at in another country.

Good luck with your new ‘dream’. According to the rules you won’t be able to play in the Olympics for Fiji as you haven’t resided there for six months or been drug tested for that long either. Or is his manager going to swing something with the Olympic committee to make that happen too?

I’m personally not going to be too surprised when that dream becomes something else. And it seems from the comments on that one story alone, I’m not the only one over him.

Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring


Dirty dishes

Delegation is hard.

Asking for help is hard.

Coming from a place of independence, it is especially tricky.

How do you do it without having a tone of ‘I’m annoyed that I have to ask you to do this but if I don’t then I’ll get shitty about doing everything’?

How do we teach children to appreciate the labour that goes into running a household (let alone an actual job) without being punitive? How do we manage the feelings when they say no, because, well, they’re kids/teenagers and that’s what they do?

How do you create that appreciation of what it takes to pay for a household – and all households are different – let alone run one with any reasonable sense of keeping it clean, feeding the occupants, and creating a safe and happy place without turning yourself, as the parent/guardian, inside out?

When has someone ‘done enough’ that they say they aren’t doing that job?

When do you let it go and when do you push back?

When it’s not even your child, it’s a little bit trickier. Blended family makes for some interesting tensions.

Because we’ve all been there (well, maybe not the Kardashians). As an adult, I remember being a self-involved teenager who thinks she’s done enough of that particular helping for the day. Hell, I’ve certainly felt that way as an adult on more than a few occasions!

But when is it that you have actually done enough, and when is it that you haven’t?

And how do you divide the household jobs so that everyone gets their share of assisting and learning? Because children contributing to the household by doing small jobs should be about them learning – how to do something; what it means to do something; what it means if it doesn’t get done.

Sometimes it’s hard to tell recalcitrant kids to do something without all your own buttons being pushed. Especially when, as all kids do, they take everything from you without even thinking twice. It’s what kids do – we’ve all done it.

Frankly, it’s hard not to sound exactly like your own parent 30 odd years ago!

Except our parents didn’t have to compete with phones and iPads and Netflix. Just three TV channels, CDs and books.

Maybe we need a chart. Maybe we need a list. I’m sure we don’t need me yelling because buttons are being pushed. It is my job as the adult to work it out. But anyone who has done adulting before knows it can get hard sometimes.

Meanwhile, none of this is getting the washing up in the sink done.

Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring