Tonight’s news

What the hell is wrong with people?

Footballer filmed doing ‘depraved act’ on dog because a woman rejected his sexual advance.

Another guy is run over by his neighbour after a long running dispute – no doubt there are no innocent parties there, although the man is very badly injured and may lose his foot.

High speed chase ends in crash – fortunately no extra people were injured, just the chasee.

People seem to have no impulse control, anger management or ability to make good choices these days.

It’s not just males, but it seems to be quite a lot of them. (Although last night’s news featured a woman who took police on a three hour chase with her six year old daughter in the car. They caught her after she accidentally drove into a pool. This might indicate that you can have a low speed car chase with the police and there is no need to go getting all ‘speedy’ on them.)

I recommend behaviour that does not require any fleeing from police.

And I’ve been mad before but I’ve worked on myself to try to cool that shit off. It worked. Not that I was that wayward as a youth but I did have a temper. Fortunately I wasn’t assaulting animals or punching people. This was because although I had a temper, I also had some formation of good and bad choices in dealing with it.

Is society more violent and less tolerant these days? Or is it that we just see it more on social and the 24 hour news cycle?

Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring,
Tanya

 

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Australia Day

Or Survival Day. Or Invasion Day, depending on who you ask.

I have to confess I was never very thoughtful when I was younger about why this day would upset so many people.

However, I have lately listened to many different voices on what it means to them.

Stan Grant’s ‘Australian Dream‘ speech should be required listening in school. It tells us why it’s almost impossible for Indigenous Australians to move past the hurtful part of being ‘conquered’. The injustices were still happening to his family right through to his own birth.

It would seem a little non-compassionate to expect someone to just get on with it when the generations have barely moved past the trauma of violence, abuse, discrimination and disrespect.

Somehow I did not connect 26 January with the First Fleet landing and why this was a bad thing for Aboriginal Australians. I’m not sure how this had moved from my memory somehow, but it had. I confess my association had become completely from my white privilege perspective. It was all about the cliches that are put out there – beaches, beer, the British inspired flag, white blonde girls, handsome white men in uniform, Vegemite, koalas.

Sometimes my own life issues prevented me from seeing the issues, as I was too caught up in my own.

Of course I was aware and horrified by the treatment of the local Indigenous people and the lie of terra nullus. I have advocated against discrimination many times.

However this year, on this Tuesday, it has been like a clearing of the fog in relation to Australia Day for me.

I believe that we, as a nation, should not be celebrating a day when people landed, some of whom were sent there without wanting to be there, and took not only the land, but the lives and dignity of the Indigenous people who lived there.

I now believe that the date of Australia Day should be changed.

Would it be logical for your family to celebrate something on the day when they were all murdered? Doesn’t seem that it would be to me.

I’m sorry that it has taken me so long to connect the dots on this. I can only blame my white privilege and my distraction for not seeing it sooner.

Let us perhaps ask the Indigenous people of Australia to choose a day to celebrate their culture, and where we can then join them in celebrating Australia since occupation. We should always start this day remembering that there was no terra nullus, that these people had been here for 40,000 years and were very much custodians of the land we all now call Australia.

No, I don’t think any of my ancestors killed any Aborigines. But that’s not the point. I have benefited from being here, born here as a white person.

I am proud to be Australian, although there are many things that have happened in the last few years that have made me pause.

This is indeed a lucky country and it takes nothing away from me to say that we were wrong to celebrate this landing day of 26 January, and while we may have all been ignorant once, we can no longer claim that now.

Change the date. It’s that simple.

Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring,
Tanya

Consolidate

January is nearly over.

Yet although I’ve done some thinking about last year I’ve not really done anything towards what might like to happen in 2016. Those resolutions or goals we all feel we need to have at the beginning of a new set of 365 days.

Sometimes this leaves me floating a little. I’m a doer, so I like to have a list of things to do!

However, sometimes it is better to not do anything and 2016 might be the year for that.

I don’t mean nothing at all! More like consolidate what I have.

  • Consolidate the new job – get some training, get right into doing it as best as I can.
  • Consolidate the new house with the lovely – there are a couple of projects that we are working on for improvement, but also the gardening alone will take a bit of time!
  • Consolidate my relationship – continue to learn and grow as a person within that space. Practice saying what I need and want, while supporting the lovely in her own journey.

Continue to practice the resolutions from 2015. Be brave; be happy; don’t presuppose what someone might think of me; have lots of fantastic sex!!

I’d like to read more, and write more. These are things I’m going to need to schedule so that they become a habit. I need them, they help me but they often get left off in a busy day and then it does get to a point where I can’t not do them. That’s when it causes some strife!

I consider myself very fortunate to be where I am today. Wonderful family and friends. Great kids. Amazing woman. Good job.

Let 2016 be a year of consolidation of all those good and new things I received last year. I hope that your 2016 will also be a year of wonder as well.

Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring,
Tanya

RIP Bowie, Wright, Rickman et al.

Because my love for you would break my heart in two… DB

Does the death of artists remind us of our own mortality?

This week the world of acting and music lost some serious players. These were people who had been around for some time, influencing others with their artistic interpretations of what the world meant to them.

I’ve nothing much to offer, there’s nothing much to take… DB

As I sit in my house, I try to work out if I feel smaller about my life in reflection of the contribution that these other people made. Do I need to try harder to be more? Am I wasting time or am I doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing?

If only life could be a little more tender and art a little more robust. AR

But is it that these people are still the same to their family that I would be to mine, if I disappeared? I’m sure their partners, children and friends et al. all grieve the same as those who lose someone less famous, creative or talented. Does not Celine Dion miss her husband and brother, not not the jobs that they performed in their lives, not matter how  great they may have been at them?

So perhaps for them it is about the love and pride they take in their loved one’s contribution, not so much about what that contribution is.

And if that is so, then my aim will be the same, although I doubt I will be a Bowie or a Rickman.

As long as there’s sun
As long as there’s rain
As long as there’s fire
As long as there’s me
As long as there’s you. DB

Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring,
Tanya

Life is a rollercoaster

2015 was a rollercoaster.

I’ve been on them before (see 2014).

Just for fun I checked out the Social Readjustment Rating Scale (SRRS), more commonly known as the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale to see how I scored for 2015. The score is up to 600…I got 497.

So just a few major life events to get through then!

It also reported that I would get sick with this rating. Luckily things are starting to settle down!

2015 saw me getting a new partner; losing my job; my partner moving in; buying a house and moving; gaining five kids; getting a new job; going overseas; negotiating with my ex; being off work for eight weeks with health issues; getting three kittens; playing Monopoly with the family at Christmas time (!!) – not necessarily in that order!

Overseas I met three wonderful people I met on Twitter, which was a fantastic way to see different countries, plus I also made a lovely friend in my AirBnB host in New York. To be shown around Bangkok and Dallas with these women was a wonderful experience and one that I will not forget any time soon. Although it does all seem so far away now! Fortunately the lovely and I are planning an overseas trip in 2017 – looking forward to that!

I saw some amazing art this year – a lot of it overseas in America – but also with my lovely in Sydney and Tasmania. I wrote a lot about MoNA and how it inspired me. The whole experience there was just amazing! The Metropolitan in New York, as well as the Guggenheim and the MoMA were standouts of my New York visit and the Dallas Museum with the wonderful Ashleigh was amazing. With this I realised I had been missing a lot of beauty and art in my life. That I needed to be refreshed and renewed with beautiful and thought provoking artefacts.

This year I met the loveliest woman, full of surprises, kindness and love. I did not expect to meet someone so soon who I would connect with and love. The Universe was very good to me to send me this teacher and I feel blessed every day that we are together.

And together we bought a house and brought our six children into a new family. This has been and will continue to be, a learning experience – full of joy and laughter and frustration! We are both doing this for the first time and so are the children, so we all get to learn together in our house, which has old charm and sometimes no charm (thanks to the doorhandles!). At least three of the kids will be spending the next eight years with us, so there will be plenty of teenage angst to deal with!

My work tribulations, as well as that of my physical health will hopefully subside into the distance. Having won a new permanent position, the stress of losing my position has washed away. It was a decade from when I last lost a job and coincidentally, had surgery to remove an organ. So perhaps in 2025 I can expect something else but in the meantime, I shall rebuild into this new stream of work and hopefully, recover some more of my health.

I’m very grateful and blessed to have cats in my life again, thanks to the lovely who did not object and in fact bought the third one into the house for me. Julian, Jack and Rosie are very cute, very naughty and very active kittens and we adore them (although Jack just wee’d on the bed so NOT so adorable right now!).

2015 was a massive year. Now to look forward to 2016.

Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring,
Tanya

2015 NY Resolutions in review

Last year I wrote this post as my five New Year resolutions for 2015.

They weren’t your standard resolutions, which, let’s face it, get trashed by about January 11 anyway.

So did I actually achieve these ones?

Let’s see….

  1. Don’t decide for someone else how they feel or think about me.

This is always a hard one but I’m pretty sure I did better at this than other times in my life. Actually it was probably the hardest to do during the whole ‘spill and fill’ thing at work, where I had to battle my boss who suddenly turned on or away (haven’t decided) from me and my elbows giving out at the same time.

  1. Have sex. Have dirty raunchy sex… Have passionate lovemaking sex….Just have sex.

All I can say is HELL YES and it happened all 2015 and it will continue because my baby is very, very sexy!

  1. Be brave, just do it! Literally be brave for twenty seconds and it could change your life.

Definitely was practicing this early on in the year but have also used it to push myself through apologies, which have always been hard for me. Or being vulnerable.

  1. Walk tall.

So I tried things. Sometimes they worked and sometimes they didn’t. I was very lucky to try things that were a lot of fun with my lovely and have some new experiences. Sometimes I lost, like when I didn’t get my job. But I decided to see that as the Universe giving me the opportunity to change and I had quite a few colleagues say they were impressed with how professional I was after that very painful and humiliating moment. Fortunately I ended up in an area where I was going to learn new things and I was made permanent there in mid-December. I fought. I lost. I walked tall. And then I won.

  1. Be happy.

Sometimes it’s hard to be happy when shit is happening. And there were plenty of hard moments in 2015. But I also had a lot to be happy about and I had so many fun times with lots of people! I met some friends overseas from Twitter on my trip and of course, I met my lovely very early on in the year. She has made me very happy!

So I guess I can say I did pretty well on my 2015 resolutions!

I hope you can look back at your year of 2015 and see that you have moved forward and achieved a great many things, personally and professionally.

I hope that you all have a very prosperous, healthy and happy 2016!

Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring,
Tanya