Wouldn’t it be nice…

If people stopped saying I’m lying on here when I’m representing facts. And happy to prove it!

You know what is nice?

  • This day, which is sunny and warmish.
  • My lovely woman singing songs while she is washing up.
  • Lolling around on a Sunday with no-where to go and nothing that has to be done.
  •  Listening to music.
  • Watching the chickens next door scratch around their garden in the sun.
  • Drinking tea with my lovely on the back porch.
  • Thinking about our house and living their together with our kids.

So those are the things I’m going to focus on today, not the lawyer paperwork I’m waiting for.

Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring
A person

My job is gone

So I’ve been told I’m not good enough for the job I’ve been doing for years. It sucks and it definitely hurts.

But …

Although I enjoyed my job, readers will know that it caused me some grief, both mental and physical in this last year. My boss withdrew from me and at times was hostile. My elbows gave out.

I’m recovering from both but I did hope that the stress of job searching would be off the radar. It was a slim hope seeing what preceded the result, but it was a hope none-the-less.

So now I know the result and I’m moving forward. Why would I want to stay somewhere they don’t want me, right?

I’m looking forward to a change in career. I don’t know what it will be yet.

I’m hoping that it won’t be too long before I get some permanency again, and I have a window of time to do that.

I know I’m luckier than others who lose their job and get told to leave the building straight away. That’s happened to me before too, ten years ago, and it sucked too. Much more than this.

So I’m looking on the positive side and hopeful I’ll get a new position soon. I’m working towards that result actively. I’m affirming what I want.

We often feel defined by our work. I want to be defined by how I coped when this situation happened and how quickly I bounced back.

Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring
A person

What I would say to her children…

Sometimes I get sad about what happens with my lovely and her children. She has five of varying ages and they are all nice people. But if I could say anything to them, this is what I’d say.

Do you know how much your mother loves you?

Do you know she yearns to be more for you than just a taxi, free lunch or new clothes provider?

Do you know that when you decide to come see us and then change your mind it wrenches her heart?

I know that you guys are hurting because she left. As kids, you want your parents to stay together and be happy.

But she wasn’t happy and ultimately, your Dad probably wasn’t either.

Parents are people. They deserve to be happy. And so, as well as she could do, as much as she tried to do it as gently for you as possible, she left.

She didn’t abandon you but she did leave the marriage and then eventually, the home.

She never wanted to hurt you but she knows that she did and she bears that burden.

But she doesn’t deserve to be punished by you for that. You will be kids, self-absorbed and self-centred and that’s just what you’ll do.

But not even writing a card for Mother’s Day when you are all old enough to read and write?

Not even getting her a birthday present? Come on, even the youngest of you could have made her something.

I know your Dad is being manipulative but I don’t see her saying anything to you about that.

She loves you and misses you. She gave you everything she had for 21 years and now she is trying to become the person she was always meant to be. That’s a hard job to do after you’ve been trying to be someone else for forty years.

A child’s capacity to hurt their parent is ultimate, just like a parent’s ability to hurt their children.

Things change. People deserve to be happy and sometimes that does mean some change and pain in the process. It certainly is nothing that anyone wants to do to their kids.

However, it’s now time for you to accept that these things mean your life will change.

And you might not like all of those things. You may not want to spend time here with your mother and I, but it will happen. It will happen because your mother wants to spend more than taxi time with you and because it’s her job to look after you. And this is where she will do it.

To the angry one, be angry! But deal with that anger instead of taking it out on your siblings (considering you’re the adult by a few years). Talk to your mother. Talk to a counsellor.

I love your mother. I love her very, very much. We fit together so well it’s quite amazing. I feel lucky to have met her every day.

You don’t have to like me, none of you. I hope you do though because I’m here for you. I’m here to be another adult you can talk to and confide in as you grow up. I’m not going to try to be your mother. Your mother is pretty awesome and there is no way I could do what she does for you. Plus I have my own kid to wrangle.

As hard as this new change is, it will work out. You will be happy again.

What your Mum and I want is to create a safe, happy space where we can all just be ourselves. Where you can be comfortable to be yourself, do your school work, chill out and hang out. Yep, you’ll probably have some jobs to do too.

But you know what. I won’t say any of that – well maybe that very last paragraph…

I can’t – it’s not for me to interfere in their relationship with her. I just have to support her as much as I can and be there when the tears come. Who knows, maybe she feels the same when she sees my daughter with me?

Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring
A person

Fascinating to think…

I’m all set to write a different blog but right now I have to tell you about a puzzling thing!

My ex just told me that a friend of hers has insisted that I came onto her. In an Aldi store of all places. Apparently I asked for her number and she told me to rack off.

This encounter never happened. Although I did recently speak with this woman, even in a flirty way (I am a flirt to be honest), none of what she relayed to my ex was what was said.

What would be her reason to lie? says my ex.

What would be my reason to? says I. I’m very happy with my girlfriend and I don’t tend to go around asking people for their numbers.

I’m completely at a loss at why this woman would say this to my ex when it didn’t happen. Is she trying to flatter her by putting me down? Does she just make up shit for fun? Did she think it would cause a fight? Did she actually want me and I’m not available so it’s reverse psychology?

Anyway, an interesting end to the day!

Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring
A person