I don’t think anybody likes to be uncomfortable. I know I certainly don’t. In fact I spend a great deal of my life avoiding certain types of discomfort.
Food is my comfort. I’ve written about this before. I won’t repeat it too much except to say that using food as your comfort comes with just as many downsides as other drugs. They might be a little different, or socially more acceptable, but they still happen.
Regardless of the consequences, people attempt to avoid discomfort on a regular basis. Many people like me use food. Others use alcohol, exercise, soft or hard drugs, even prescribed drugs. All this in an effort to deal with the discomfort they are feeling.
Right now I have a lot of discomfort. It is mental, physical, emotional. I’m not sure what to do. So I’m attempting to do nothing. I’m attempting to be uncomfortable. I’m attempting to sit with my discomfort.
I’m not sure it’s working so far. Although I can minimise my eating today, my physical discomfort persists. On top of that my mental and emotional anguish seems not to be going anywhere. Did that discomfort bring on this physical discomfort? Very possibly.
I’m not that unhealthy. I do eat vegetables and I don’t eat takeaway every night. I don’t drink a lot and don’t smoke. But still I have undoubtedly inflicted some of this physical discomfort on myself.
This is separate to my elbow issue which is still ongoing and the cause of some distress. And I can’t help but feel that the anxiety caused by this has worked physically to express itself more painfully than my mind can deal with. Hence other flare-ups, other physical discomfort.
It’s been a beautiful day. I’ve been able to spend time laying on the floor in the sun and my pain eased for a little bit. I’m very grateful that I have people who care about me and that I can go to see medical professionals in the hope of easing and quite frankly, curing this particular discomfort.
I’m grateful for the view that I see out my window and for the music that I listen to, to distract me. For my bed and my heat pack.
All things are temporary. Some of this pain can be cut out – it’s just a matter of time and I’m lucky in Australia that I have the opportunity for this to be done for free. But I do have to wait and there’s not much I can do about that.
Being pain-free is quite miraculous. Never take it for granted. I am a kind and caring person who looks after others when they are not well and I feel very grateful that I have people who look after me in return. Sometimes I have been less sympathetic than perhaps I should have been. But nevertheless it didn’t mean I didn’t believe them or care about them and their pain.
This issue is more temporary than my elbow issue but it certainly doesn’t enjoy me thinking about going back to work, what that might mean, and my future.
I’m not even sure what I wanted to say in this blog except that it was another way to distract myself from trying other ways to ease my discomfort, like eating. I’m sorry if this seems a little whiny. I don’t really like complaining about it, but perhaps some acknowledgement may help in the end?
Let’s hope that tomorrow bring slightly less pain for me and for others in this world. In all senses of the word.
Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring