Amazing car life…

And I’m not talking rev heads!

Was dropping off the lovely’s car for service and could not go past this beautiful, moss covered Holden from the sixties (maybe…I’ll have to ask my brother!)

I hope my photos do it justice! 

    
    
 OK, stop procrastinating and get into studying for my job interview!

Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring 

A person 

The choice of positive over negative blogging (or how I’m writing about my lovely woman instead of other shit)

I could write about shitty things, but instead I’m writing about my lovely…

There’s a lot of stuff going on at the moment in my life.

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This was me last Monday. I was feeling pretty shitty. It could have also been yesterday, except with less sunshine. I was feeling pretty shitty. Not quite as much pain but just generally bad.

These last few weeks have been a mental and physical rollercoaster ride. I could talk about how crappy I felt, and how various aspects of my life and the people in them, make things a lot more difficult than they need to be.

Instead I’m going to talk about my beautiful, lovely woman. Without her I would probably still be in bed today, and goodness knows what I would do without her when I’m feeling extra shitty. Like yesterday.

This is a woman who has her own aches and pains. This is a woman who has her own emotional and mental journey to continue on. I’m very conscious of this. When I’m feeling so low, I’m not sure that I want to be so vulnerable and so needy, when she has so many others who need her, not to mention her own needs.

But she allows me the space to be as I am. I don’t have to pretend to be OK when I’m not. I don’t have to feel that my feelings are secondary, or less than another person’s. (It’s probably not surprising for those astrologers out there to guess that she is a Cancer.)

Do you know that she has these wonderful clear blue eyes? And that when she smiles her whole face lights up and it’s incredibly beautiful. To me she is a wonder of sexiness and caring, strength and vulnerability, levity and depth.

I love hearing her laugh. We joke a lot, which means we laugh a lot. We talk about things, hard things. And sometimes we just hold each other. She is a wonderfully caring mother and I love seeing her with her children.

She is very good at the job that she does – helping people. I’m very conscious of not being like those people that she has to prop up every day. She says it’s different with me and I know that for her it probably is, but I still feel uncomfortable sometimes being vulnerable or sad.

I’m amazed every day that I could have met someone so wonderful and beautiful as her.

I thought I would be alone for a long time. It didn’t really worry me that much that I was going to be alone for a long time, and I wasn’t looking for anyone when I met my lovely.

I could not be more grateful and happy for her presence in my life.

She makes me want to be a better person. She makes me want to do all the things I swore I would never do again after my last relationship/marriage ended. I want to sit on the couch with her and cuddle each night – we are never getting recliners!

I cannot see the future without her and I’m very pleased and lucky that she feels the same about me.

My wish for everyone is (should they want it) to find someone that fits them, someone that seems to be clicking, with no drama, rough edges, or too many compromises.

Even though we’ve only been seeing each other for six months it feels like we have known each other for a very long time, and as we are both beyond 40 there is a maturity to our relationship that could not have happened in our earlier lives. Having said that, we act as if we are both about 17 years old when we are together!

She bought me roses for our six month anniversary...

She bought me roses for our six month anniversary…

One of those things that makes it a bit mature is an acceptance of the person as they are. I’m not sure if it’s my age or how I am consciously but I have less expectations and more acceptance on how we are, both physically and mentally. When I say less expectations, what I mean is that this is the person that I presented as at this point in my life and same for her, so I don’t have unrealistic ideas about how we should look or be or act. We are who we are and that is all. And it is also very beautiful, wonderful and amazing.

I feel very much that I don’t want to repeat the mistakes I made in my previous relationships. And I’m really working on that with my lovely. She too is on her own journey of learning how to be herself, learning how she wants to be in a relationship. It’s nice to be with someone who is actively learning and creating themselves from a mature and conscious perspective. This is not an implication that I haven’t been in those sorts of relationships before, just that now it is very nice to be working at the same time with someone towards our own individual consciousness.

Blogs can be written about so many crappy things. But not this post. This post is lovely.IMG_1038

Let’s fill the page with love and focus on the positive, the beautiful, the wonderful things that we have in our lives. It doesn’t mean we can’t write about crappy things on the days when we feel we need to, just that if we feel we have a choice, to choose the positive.

Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring
A person

Is it technically writing if you are actually talking into a microphone?

(I’ve left the errors in this one just to show you again how tricky it is.)

So just a little note to say that I apologise if there are some errors in my recent posts. This is because I’m still getting used to the voice recognition software and it still getting used to me. Perhaps if I get a better microphone it might be understanding better but for the time being Apple headphones in life are battling a loss. So what this means is that I write with the voice recognition software and that I do and edit and that I post. However sometimes I miss things and I apologise if my glamorous the author centres that doesn’t quite make sense to try and get it right but it is a very unnatural state of writing from me.

You can see just from that paragraph that grammar is apparently glamorous. And I don’t even know what the next few words were trying to be!

Thanks for sticking with me!

Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring
A person

Taking photos of life 

I take a lot of photos because I seem to see life and its surrounds in a frame. I’m always thinking ‘Damn, that would make a great shot!’

Here’s some from today. 

   
    
 I’m certainly blessed to live in the beautiful countryside!
Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring 

A person 

Seriously Skip, I just don’t know about these Aussie pollies anymore

This seems to be no parity between politicians and real people.

whats up skippy
This is because if I had done in my job Bronwyn Bishop has done in hers, I would be investigated, stood beside from those responsibilities, very possibly charged with a criminal offence, and very possibly demoted or fired.

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That Tony Abbott continues to support his Speaker, where it is blatantly clear that she is the most biased speaker that we’ve had in Australia, and now clearly a very fraudulent one as well, is mind boggling. 

 It is distressing as an Australian to continue to watch as these destructive, entitled people destroy Australia, both to the locals and to the international community.

Having said that the levity brought by the many memes caused by Bronwyn Bishop and her chopper gate scandal are quite amusing. I’ve included a few for your amusement (plus a couple of others). Props to the authors.

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Unfortunately the closing side is not that much better. Labour is almost Clayton’s Liberal with its refugee policy and it is weakening climate change policies.

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Here’s a few things that I think both parties should just shut up and get done.

Marriage equality:  Are we seriously still debating this? How many other countries have to show us up before we do this as a nation? Why should I not be able to marry legally the woman that I love just because I happen not to have a penis? It’s unbelievable to me that tired old arguments that have been proven wrong by the many countries in Europe and in the Americas who have been delivering marriage equality for some decades, can still be kept rolling out of the mouths of opponents here in Australia. Can we just get it done – consenting adults one and consenting adult two… that’s all we need to do.

Climate change: when so much of Europe and other less-developed countries have better targets and are producing more of their energy from renewable sources it makes us in Australia look positively backwards. We have plenty of wind and plenty of sun. There is no reason, aside from vested interests of the coal industry and other non-balls, that we as a nation should not be completely solar and wind powered. If a place in Europe that is not as half a sunny as us here in Australia can produce 140% of their energy from renewables (that’s Denmark by the way) then why the hell can’t Australia? It’s just embarrassing.

Welfare and education reform: seriously? Is there not enough studies in the world that say that supporting people who are not as fortunate as others does not in fact overall benefit the community long-term. So many places have started to actually build housing for homeless and its working out cheaper than leaving them on the streets. Education and the access to it are so critical for the development and the continued prosperity of any community. It’s a tenent of a fair and democratic society that we shouldn’t limit education to those who can afford it. If we do this then we’ve got no chance of doing what Joe hockey said: to afford a house go out and get a good job that pays good money. It’s a bit hard when you can’t afford the education to get that good job. Although having said that, I believe Joe paid nothing or very little for his education.

I’m so sick at heart with this current government. I think it’s possible that the only people who have really benefited from the Liberals being in under Tony Abbott have been those coalminers and Rupert Murdoch. I’m so over it.

Wishing you all the happiness the universe can bring
A person

Discomfort and distraction

I don’t think anybody likes to be uncomfortable. I know I certainly don’t. In fact I spend a great deal of my life avoiding certain types of discomfort.

Food is my comfort. I’ve written about this before. I won’t repeat it too much except to say that using food as your comfort comes with just as many downsides as other drugs. They might be a little different, or socially more acceptable, but they still happen.

Regardless of the consequences, people attempt to avoid discomfort on a regular basis. Many people like me use food. Others use alcohol, exercise, soft or hard drugs, even prescribed drugs. All this in an effort to deal with the discomfort they are feeling.

Right now I have a lot of discomfort. It is mental, physical, emotional. I’m not sure what to do. So I’m attempting to do nothing. I’m attempting to be uncomfortable. I’m attempting to sit with my discomfort.

I’m not sure it’s working so far. Although I can minimise my eating today, my physical discomfort persists. On top of that my mental and emotional anguish seems not to be going anywhere. Did that discomfort bring on this physical discomfort? Very possibly.

I’m not that unhealthy. I do eat vegetables and I don’t eat takeaway every night. I don’t drink a lot and don’t smoke. But still I have undoubtedly inflicted some of this physical discomfort on myself.

This is separate to my elbow issue which is still ongoing and the cause of some distress. And I can’t help but feel that the anxiety caused by this has worked physically to express itself more painfully than my mind can deal with. Hence other flare-ups, other physical discomfort.

It’s been a beautiful day. I’ve been able to spend time laying on the floor in the sun and my pain eased for a little bit. I’m very grateful that I have people who care about me and that I can go to see medical professionals in the hope of easing and quite frankly, curing this particular discomfort.

I’m grateful for the view that I see out my window and for the music that I listen to, to distract me. For my bed and my heat pack.

All things are temporary. Some of this pain can be cut out – it’s just a matter of time and I’m lucky in Australia that I have the opportunity for this to be done for free. But I do have to wait and there’s not much I can do about that.

Being pain-free is quite miraculous. Never take it for granted. I am a kind and caring person who looks after others when they are not well and I feel very grateful that I have people who look after me in return. Sometimes I have been less sympathetic than perhaps I should have been. But nevertheless it didn’t mean I didn’t believe them or care about them and their pain.

This issue is more temporary than my elbow issue but it certainly doesn’t enjoy me thinking about going back to work, what that might mean, and my future.

I’m not even sure what I wanted to say in this blog except that it was another way to distract myself from trying other ways to ease my discomfort, like eating. I’m sorry if this seems a little whiny. I don’t really like complaining about it, but perhaps some acknowledgement may help in the end?

Let’s hope that tomorrow bring slightly less pain for me and for others in this world. In all senses of the word.

Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring
A person

The bridge

We live near some train tracks and a bridge from way back. Today my daughter and I did some train spotting and exploring.

One thing that bothered me though was about leaving her there to explore by herself. I couldn’t help but be torn between being her parent and keeping her safe, and at the same time, letting her independently explore the world in a relatively safe environment. 

I thought of my own childhood and the uninhibited exploring my brother and I did far from home – much further than this was from my current house. How that exploring and adventure grew us.

In the end we explored together but I can’t help but think that I denied her a little bit of independence…

   
    
    
 
Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring 

A person 

What a car in a ditch can tell you

It was a dark and rainy night…

And so it was my lovely accidentally got her car stuck in a ditch!

As it was raining and dark and cold, and she had tried unsuccessfully to remove it herself, we went and had another go at it this morning. I had arranged someone to come help who had a little equipment and a bigger car that may be needed to pull it out, but they had not yet arrived.

It was clear on daytime inspection that the car was fully wedged on the side of a soft gravel driveway. So wedged in fact, and half in the ditch, that it was definitely not able to go anywhere without assistance. A very nice man noticed us looking at the car and pulled over and offered to help. In the end after a bit of tooing and froing, the car came, a little dirty but largely unscathed, out of its predicament.

But this is not the most exciting thing that happened in that half an hour of ‘car out of ditch’ adventure.

No, the more interesting part was the altercation between neighbours that subsequently occurred as we were attempting to get the car out. It seems that this relationship had long been broken down and both parties held a lot of animosity towards each other. However the second party seemed a little bit more adversarial.

Which makes me think and wonder how hard her life must be to be so openly aggressive and confrontational to three people who were clearly just trying to get a car out of the ditch. The abuse directed from this party towards my lovely was an accusation that she must have been drunk to have ended up in such a situation! The leap had us all a little stunned for a second!

I can attest that she was indeed quite sober but reversing in the rain and the dark close to the edge of a soft, newly laid gravel driveway got the better of her. It probably would have got the better of very many people considering the construction of the driveway.

So a little accident was had, and a friendly man offered to help out. And then this other party who claimed to own the property added nothing by her presence. She did not assist in trying to get the car out of the ditch. She did not help by watching quietly off to the side.

I know that sometimes relationships break down but it seemed odd that you would attack someone in front of strangers that they were clearly giving assistance to. He went out of his way to help us and we were very grateful for that. She went out of her way to abuse him verbally and us!

I can only feel sad for this woman who is clearly very angry and frustrated and scared by the things in her life. Who knows if I will meet her again some time? I hope that she is able to get past the car in the ditch incident and has a nice day. But there’s nothing I can do if she doesn’t.

Meanwhile we are very grateful to the man who assisted and we feel lucky that neither the car nor my lovely was greatly injured (although there are a few bruises and scratches on both).

The biggest lesson learnt from today is that it is a good idea to know the neighbourhood that you might move into, just in case you get into the middle of some sort of long-standing family disturbance. So in the end the accident in the ditch will certainly save us years of living next to such an angry person!

How mysterious the Universe is at times…but it tells you plenty if you want to listen.

Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring
A person