Today is the one year anniversary of the end of my 15 year marriage.
It has been a rollercoaster ride of highs and lows.
I’ve never once regretted the decision and I’m very happy where I am right now:
- I’ve spent a lot more quality time with my daughter.
- I met some wonderful, amazing and supportive new friends.
- I got to create my own space again after 15 years.
- I went on a dream trip where I met friends in person that I’d met online.
- I had an online, long distance relationship.
- I got to make choices about how and when I spent money without needing to consider someone else.
- I spent a lot of time with my brother and his kids, which was wonderful.
- I met someone lovely.
- I started to be me again.
- I got lighter, once I got through the intense sadness and guilt of the break up.
Now it’s about moving into the next phase of my life. It’s about consolidating what I’ve learned and moving on with that journey.
It’s about not making the same mistakes again. About living real and raw and allowing myself to be vulnerable. About being a better me, whatever that means, and whoever that is.
It’s not that my life was terrible before. I just wanted it to be better. I wanted to be happy. It’s not that anyone did anything wrong. It’s just that I knew that the way things were was not going to make me a better person.
So I left and hopefully, eventually, we will both be better, happier people. I know that I am and will continue to work towards being the best person I can be – as an individual, a parent and a partner.
One year is a long time but at the same time, not so long. Nerves are still raw and things still hurt.
But life is good, it is good and I feel blessed with all that is here and all the lessons that I have been taught in the last year.
2015 is already a big year and it’s only a quarter of the way through. Massive things are happening at my work and now I’m about to buy a house of my own again (fingers crossed it all goes to plan). I may have surgery before the year is out.
Again, the start of the year and the end will look radically different for me, just like 2014.
But although I feel some anxiety, I am not afraid. I feel strong, and supported and loved. I feel clear in the decision that I made one year ago.
So dear reader, was there anything that you did a year ago that has radically affected your life?
Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring,