So I had a bit of anxiety today.
I think it was that because my heart was doing it’s weird thing again. (Don’t worry, it’s been checked out and they say it’s all good…)
But what I really want to know is why it happened.
What do I have to be so anxious about? To be honest, life is pretty good right now. Like, really, really lovely.
The only thing I can think that triggered it was the Ace of hearts house hunting.
Now let’s just mention for the record, I am quite happy for her to do that and to get a nice house. Today we went and saw a house she liked. It was a very nice house.
However it then prompted me to go into a bit of a house hunting spin of my own. Searching through All Homes and even doing a drive-by on a house that I’ve looked at for a bit.
Having a house equals having safety and financial security to me. So right now, even though I’m mostly cool about renting and having no real plan, clearly there is a part of me that is so totally not cool about it that it is freaking out!
It’s the first time that I’ve been without some sort of plan for a house, or an actual house since, well, the early 1990s.
What I’m trying to find right now is the middle line between free wheeling as I seem to be, and being so wound up in getting financially secure that I was stressed out about spending anything.
Clearly the pendulum has swung a bit too far…now it seems I’m anxious about not having a house/financial security.
I guess the only way to assuage this anxiety is to get some sort of plan for myself and keep trying to walk that middle ground – trust the Universe to provide while moving towards that state myself.
Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring