The privilege of attending a funeral

There’s nothing like a funeral.

Nothing like it to remind us all to take things one day at a time. Take nothing for granted.

I had the privilege today of joining a family to mourn the loss of their mother. I never knew her personally but am friends with one of her children.

I am always touched by the strength of the family. I’m sure to be an absolute mess when I lose either of my parents. I can’t even imagine it. When a close friend’s mother died about ten years ago, one that I did know and was very fond of, I spoke at the funeral. But I could barely hold it together – well actually I totally didn’t hold it together. I was a mess of tears and anguish and snot.

How the hell am I going to do that for my own parents?

These adult children of an elderly mother were brave, calm and beautiful. It was the youngest speaker who lost her way through tears and grief. I think part of it is that as you age, you realise that death is not the worst thing that can happen. You get used to the idea that it will happen. When you are young, you don’t think about death. I remember weeping uncontrollably at my own grandmother’s funeral. The loss was immense because almost no one had died before that. I’d been very fortunate to retain three out of four grandparents until I was 18. She was to me, as to this young girl, a friend, a support, a co-conspirator.

Anyway, there is nothing so final, despite how strong you may have been to that point, when they wheel or carry that coffin out. That’s it. There is no more. Only memories. Hopefully loving ones like this family had. Like mine had.

I was grateful to have been able to share this moment with my friend and her family. I hope I have friends that will do the same for me when the time comes. Scrap that. I know I will.

Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring
A person

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2 thoughts on “The privilege of attending a funeral

  1. Funerals are weird , i lost my mother and grandnother both 3 months ago . I even surprised myself at myself because i didn’t lose it ! and i thought i would but the thing is , when you are the one who lost the person , all you’ll want to do is just to pass those funeral days so that you can sit with yourself and see what’s really going on . and that is the hardest part ! I can tell that you are a good friend for standing up for your friend ! I salute you for that ! Because i know i wouldn’t pass mine without my friends

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