If I could tell you anything before this year was through young woman, I would tell you this:
You made mistakes this year. You fucked up. You lost. You didn’t know what you had.
You didn’t know that love was real, so you didn’t recognise it. You didn’t know you could lose it so easily, even though it hung on with fingernails on your cliff.
You won’t know this properly for a long time, probably many years.
You won’t know it until you meet another one who loves you like that. Then you will really understand what you lost. What mistake you made.
You thought you knew everything. It’s what the young do. They can’t help it. It’s the essential nature of the young to be arrogant and ignorant of all the things they do not know. It’s the animal they are. There is nothing to be done but forge ahead, breaking things until it becomes clearer how not to break it, how to hold it without fracturing, shattering it.
Until it becomes clear what you hold is magical.
Life is for making mistakes. Life is for loving and leaving, breaking and healing, bending, snapping, bleeding and stitching up again. Love is the battlefield, the tree on the hill your destination.
Young woman, don’t worry about what he says, or she says. You are beautiful.
Don’t believe the voice in your head that says you can’t. You can.
You won’t believe me right now young woman, but trust me when I say you are never more beautiful than today, and tomorrow you will be more beautiful still, and every day after that.
You won’t believe me when I say that someone will love you for who you are. Someone will not ask you to do things to make yourself smaller. They won’t ask you to be anything that you are not. You will want to be better for them. Your heart will direct you to climb.
Young woman, a day here, a year there, will pass by. You can let these things go but before you do, make sure you realise your mistakes and learn from them. Life is for making mistakes, but don’t make the same ones twice.
Love yourself, young woman, and don’t worry, someone else will love you too.
So young woman, at some time in the future, near or far, you will realise what you’ve done this year.
When you realise the mistake you made with the love you had and threw away, instead of sadness, send a prayer to that heart that loved you fearlessly. Send a prayer that says that you didn’t know what to do with all that love because you’d never seen it before – you thought you knew everything, but now you realise you knew nothing.
Send a prayer that heals not just the heart you broke but your own.
Bless a star in the sky for that heart, that love, and then look with love towards yourself and be whole.
Go forward young woman. Make your mistakes, break your hearts, learn your lessons, heal your wounds and grow. Grow and appreciate the gift that someone else gave to you. The gift of being there to practice on. The gift to make the mistake and learn.
Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring