My kid is not yet eight but when she is old enough, this is what I’m going to tell her about sex. Specifically, the sex that is apparently not sex – oral sex.
I’m going to tell her that just because you can’t get pregnant from something, does not mean it isn’t sex.
I’m going to tell her that if she isn’t comfortable giving someone oral sex, then don’t.
If she isn’t comfortable getting oral sex but someone wants her to give it to them, then she probably isn’t ready for it.
That if they aren’t willing to go down on her first, then they aren’t the right person to be having this sex with.
Because oral sex is really, really intimate. I can’t imagine doing anything more intimate than putting your mouth on or in someone’s genitals. And yes, I just used the word genitals.
No matter what bits you have on you or what bits you want to get your mouth onto, make sure that you like this person. Don’t just do it at a party because some person wants you too. Don’t do it because you don’t want to have ‘real sex’ – fucking – because if you aren’t ready for fucking then you aren’t ready for blow jobs and muff diving. And yes, I just said muff diving.
Sex is so, so, so good (times a million) if you are doing it willingly with someone who is also willing. Generally that means you might have had more than a cursory conversation. You might hopefully know their name and hopefully you will remember it because you weren’t too drunk.
Real sex is often awkward and sometimes embarrassing which is why you want to be sure you are doing it with someone who is going to be OK with that.
So my darling girl, make sure you really want to do whatever sex it is, and that your partner is willing to go there with you at the same pace. And please be safe, because no boy or girl worth anything will want you to accept otherwise.
Wishing you all the happiness the Universe can bring